


Hinata, no

by Sage (the_ruined_earth_sagelord)



Series: Haikyuu!! One Shots [14]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Humor, M/M, This is a sin, ball is life, it is a shitpost, its just volleyball boys being dumb, there is absolutely nothing serious or of any literary merit here, this is a meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-04 14:53:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6663196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_ruined_earth_sagelord/pseuds/Sage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>hinata yES</p><p>ball is life, this is a meme, you're all memes for reading it, welcome to the shitposting hour</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hinata, no

**Author's Note:**

  * For [day](https://archiveofourown.org/users/day/gifts), [hoshikyuu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoshikyuu/gifts).



> Day, Hoshi, and I have this great group chat where we scream at one another about memes, and from the chaos of that sin this memeery was born.

 

 

 

Hinata burst into the gym, slamming the doors open, and making everyone on the Karasuno team jump in surprise. Nishinoya yelped, leaping right into Tanaka’s arms. Asahi nearly fainted, and Daichi and Suga had to catch him under the armpits.

 

Hinata looked around wildly, his eyes blazing with fear. “Hide,” he whispered. “I’ve gotta _hide_.”

 

Suga left Daichi to deal with Asahi and he hurried over to Hinata, taking his arm gently. “Hinata,” he said, concern flashing across his face. “Hinata, what’s wrong?”

 

Hinata’s eyes snapped up to stare into Suga’s, and he opened his mouth to answer, but before he could even speak, they heard it. The gym shook, the school trembled, and the hearts of men grew faint and quivered in fear.

 

**“ _H I N A T A A A A A - B O G E E E E E!!!!!”_**

 

Suga looked down in horror at Hinata. “What did you do?” His voice was a terrified whisper.

 

“Too late,” Hinata hissed. “Gotta _hide_.”

 

He dove behind a cart of volleyballs just as Kageyama stormed into the gym, a dark and oppressive cloud of hatred and anger boiling around him. He seethed, pure wrath rolling off him in waves.

 

“ _Where is he?”_  Kageyama thundered, his voice a rampant growl.

 

Suga stepped in front of the volleyball cart. “Now, now, Kageyama, I’m sure whatever Hinata did doesn’t warrant all of this…”

 

“ _Achoo!_  Oh, shit…”

 

Suga froze. _Hinata._  His eyes flicked from Kageyama to the ball cart. Kageyama glared through him, staring lasers at the ball cart. Suga figured he had a few more moments to try to talk Kageyama down.

 

Kageyama grunted like a wild animal and lowered his head. The kid was gonna fucking charge.

 

Suga stepped aside, bowing. “Yeah, whatever, he’s all yours.”

 

Kageyama bowled into the ball cart, sending Hinata flying and volleyballs spilling everywhere. Daichi roared at them to stop making a mess, but he was still busy with Asahi, and Tanaka and Noya were no help, cheering and whooping along with Hinata and Kageyama as they rolled and tussled to the ground.

 

“Apologize,” Kageyama snarled at Hinata. “Say it!”

 

Hinata struggled against Kageyama’s larger body weight, scrambling to get a hold on him. “Never,” he hissed.

 

Kageyama roared and picked Hinata up, sending him tumbling into Noya and Tanaka. He straightened, marching out of the gym with his arms held stiffly at his side. “I’m breaking up with you, dumbass,” he shouted.

 

“No you’re not!” Hinata cried back, untangling himself from Nishinoya. “You thought it was funny! You know you did! You’re just mad I thought of it first!”

 

“ARGH.”

 

Kageyama stomped out of the gym, and Hinata raced after, jumping all around him, squawking and hollering at him to stop pretending they were broken up.

 

Suga helped Tanaka to his feet, and everyone stared at the gym door, hardly believing what they’d just seen.

 

“Did anyone know they were dating?” Nishinoya asked, but Suga shushed him as Tsukishima and Yamaguchi entered the gym, shaking their heads and laughing bitterly.

 

“Tsukishima,” Suga called. “Why are Kageyama and Hinata fighting?”

 

Tsukishima rolled his eyes, and Yamaguchi tried not to laugh. “Hinata and Kageyama were eating lunch with us,” Yamaguchi explained as Tsukishima set his bag down. “We were outside, and Hinata turned to Kageyama and put his hand…on Kageyama’s crotch.”

 

Tanaka frowned. “What’s wrong with that? Noya and I do that all the time! We’re bros!”

 

Nishinoya skipped over. “Right, Ryu!” He lovingly tapped Tanaka’s groin. “Bro.”

 

“ _Bro.”_

 

“You two, shut up and stop being gay for a second,” Suga scolded. He turned back to Yamaguchi. “Was that it? They said they’re dating...Did Hinata do something Kageyama didn’t consent to?”

 

Yamaguchi glanced at Tsukishima, and the two of them tried not to burst out laughing again. “No,” Yamaguchi said. “That wasn’t it.”

 

“Well?” Suga demanded.

 

“When Hinata touched Kageyama on his crotch, he got this really serious look on his face, and Tsukki and I thought it was gonna get, well, really gay right in front of us. But Hinata just stared at Kageyama for a second before he, like,  _squeezed_  Kageyama’s…um, crotch, and said…” He took a deep breath.

 

“Kageyama, ball is life.”

 

Tanaka and Nishinoya dropped their hands from each other, screaming. Suga back away, horrified, his face pale. Asahi, who’d just woken up, fainted again. Daichi wept, tears streaming down his face. The second years, led by Ennoshita, tried to round up Tanaka and Nishinoya, who’d begun sprinting around the gym, hollering and crying.

 

Practice was cancelled that day, and neither Kageyama nor Hinata were allowed back in the gym until both of them agreed never to make sports related puns about their relationship ever again.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> *bows*
> 
> legendarysagehalfblood.tumblr.com


End file.
